confused!!!!

he come back to me again.... take me to be his best buddy... im confused... i still love him... he's everything to me...  but when thinking what he had done to me... i become mad.. i become crazy.... when the gurl left him, he came back to me... what am i????? a toy for him??? but i do everything for him... i'll always be there when he needed me... i've been blind by love.... yeah.. im stupid gurl... be with him again even though he had dump me before... he still remember that gurl... always talked about her... im jeleous.. yaeh... stupid again.. he love that gurl so much that he cried when their relationship ended... i watch him suffer..... n i've always be there when he needed a shoulder to cry on... can we start all over again????i don't think so.. he always said that im his best buddy and actually deep inside, im hurt... very2 hurt..... i want him as a special one for me... but... yaeh i noe... i expect something too much... i nned to let go this feeling.... hope that this feeling will go away with the pain...